Carlyle Ardént - The Blackened Silver (Forever Awaiting Review!)

Name:
Carlyle Ardent ("The Sentinel")

Gender:
Male

Age:
27

Race:
Human/Undead?

Appearance:

Spoiler:

Since his supposed re-animation, Ardent’s skin has adopted a spotless grey tone often accustomed to that of a frozen corpse. To honour the day his life changed, Ardent consistently wears the clothing he had at the time of his death – a simple pair of black trousers and equally as bland formal footwear. The chest wound that apparently took his life is shielded by the brooch of his household, said brooch also securing his longbow and dagger in place. Beyond this his chest is bare, only his fingers possessing something to state his inhuman status – fashioned talons glowing a dim azure blue. His long snow hair is tied in place by a ribbon belonging to his deceased wife, a pendant she had gifted to him tied to his neck and containing the golden ring of their marriage. In non-combat situations he often wears a standard NOL cloak over his torso to try and make his stiff rigor-mortis filled movements look more natural, as well as a small rose red scarf to hide his inhumanely hairless jawline.

Loyalty:
The Ardent Household – An upperclass household within Kagutsuchi with ties to numerous businesses across the city. The house was a vocal group in favour of the NOL, yet only ever offered neutral financial contributions to policing and education efforts.
Elisa Bernard – Ardent’s lover from a young age, he was delighted to discover that his father favoured their future marriage both as a parent and a businessman due to Elisa’s heritage. The two wed at the twin ages of 18, and were together for four years. Carlyle is notable for being especially loyal to her, and remains in mourning years after her demise.
The NOL - Following the murder of his wife and unborn child, Ardent awoke days later within an NOL medical suite. An officer at his bedside explained his predicament, and offered him one thing: Retribution. Ardent would spend the following years training as an agent of the Librarium, standing among their highest ranking men - the famed "Sentinel" of Kagutsuchi.

Relations:
Elisa Bernard (Wife)
Aiden Ardent (Unborn son)
Tsubaki Yayoi (Commanding officer)
Relius Clover (Has taken mild interest into his "undead" state)
Noel Vermillion (Believes her to be the spitting image of his late wife)
Azrael (Possible murderer?)

Personality:
Prior to his demise, Ardent was a gentle soul. While sickly and weak, he made up for it with an iron will and an unending desire to do good in the world. He was also rather notable for his naivety, often falling for flirtatious and innocent tricks from his wife. Rest assured, he was a happy man who was pleased with what he had as his own. This was until his death, where the guilt and regrets of his past mistakes tolled up into an unstoppable force of fury and revenge. Despite his new found strength, Ardent is still the same man for the most part and has forced himself under a vow of stoicism and protection. While he rarely expresses himself now, it is clear that he is as protective and willed as ever – only with the might to uphold his wishes. Alas, with his rotting and dementia-ridden mind slowly drifting away he is often forced to reflect on his name and life in order to even remember the faces of those he fights for. With little to no understanding as to why he came to life once more, he often considers why he would be granted life once more over his wife and child.
Despite his formal loyalty to the Librarium, it is also apparent that he values innocence over his commands. There have been occasions where he has left terrorists and criminals unharmed, having judged them himself as doing the right thing to protect those they care about. It is interesting to note that he is entirely aware that the Librarium see him more as a tool than an asset, yet he willingly continues to serve due to the general motive of the NOL as well as their possession of numerous old family letters which they coincidentally "find" whenever he succeeds in missions.

Weaponry:
Elisa – A large ornate longbow designed cooperatively between the Ardent household and the NOL. Almost two metres in length, the technological marvel can launch curved projectiles at staggering ranges. Interestingly the bow possesses no drawing string, with the projectiles themselves being sewn and launched by the will of the user himself. The frame simply acts as a tool for Ardent to focus his strange undead energy into. Due to his lack of a need for a quiver in favour of sewn projectiles, Ardent is thus able to fire at an impressive rate beyond that of a skilled bowman lacking his power.
Aiden- The very blade that killed him. It is a small, unremarkable seax-style dagger save for its glowing edge. In a similar fashion to Elisa, the dagger is simply a vessel for energy to be stored in. This makes the blade much sharper than your usual weapon, leaving searing wounds with simple contact. While he highly prefers to fight as a ranged combatant, when close-quarters combat is required Ardent is a potent bladesman.
The Toll – Within his brooch lies a method to project his newly acquired abilities - a channeling device in the form of his wife's rusted and cracked ring. Seeing it as the final solution to a sinning enemy, it has been deemed the final “toll” for their crimes. He has yet to use it to its full extent, yet it is capable of unleashing vicious blasts of corrosive energy. Such might shall be saved for the one who deserves it most - only Azrael will experience its mysterious might.

Abilities:
Beyond his archery skill and improved physical strength, it has become apparent that there is some sort of additional energy within Ardent’s reanimated body. While it can be channeled in minute bursts through his finger-tips, it is only with help from Elisa, Aiden and the Toll that he can truly project these abilities efficiently. For example, he is able to form arrow-like projectiles via his bow for use in combat. He possesses the ability to manipulate these projectiles to an extent, being able to curve and change the trajectory of his arrows (E.g: If a person were to stand between him and a target at a range of ten metres, he would be able to steer the projectile around the obstacle and return it to its original trajectory. However, if the obstacle was wider and closer he would lack the space needed to turn the shot).
In his reanimated body it is also apparent that he lacks the need for blood or oxygen, being able to take mass amounts of punishment without issue. In exchange for his near invincibility comes the ever present risk of his body crumbling away, forcing Ardent to take artificial doses of nutrients at a regular basis in order to remain functional. In a way, he is simply a patchwork man held together by stitches.

History:
Life for Ardent began in lucky circumstances. Born the only son of a loving upper-class family, he was showered with constant affection and gifts. While his parents were often on business trips or meeting governmental contacts, it was clear that they truly did all they could to spend time with their only son. With the funds to support his development, Ardent was able to follow a strict timetable throughout his life that filled him with a wide knowledge of history, philosophy and mathematics. By the age of ten there were plans put in place for him to join the NOL and become an officer within the organisation, yet he had his own dreams. Making the final choice on his own, his promised to follow his father’s footsteps and help in his business banking branch known for its highly vocal support of the activities of the NOL.
During his teens he was taught of the story behind the Librarium, as well as why they were a truly righteous cause that intended to nourish an unstable society. Ardent was inspired by the tales of heroic NOL soldiers in battle, and believed in their courage, camaraderie and will to protect the world just as much as he did in the famous folklore archers he enjoyed to read into, such as Robin Hood of Locksley and William Tell of Switzerland. While he probably couldn't quite split an arrow in twain, he was determined to do the very same - protect the innocent and needy from the evil of a dangerous world.
It was around the early years he spent working with his father that he met a young girl by the name of Elisa. Be it her golden hair, her sapphire eyes or her beautiful voice, Ardent felt himself falling for her immediately. There must've been a miracle at work two times over - she felt the same, and their fathers both approved heartily. Elisa Bernard was the daughter of another rich businessman, and a merger between the two households was inevitable. Their romance couldn't have come at a better time.
By the age of 18, the two had been a joyous couple for three years. They promptly wed with undying enthusiasm, and it appeared certain that the Ardent&Bernard company merger would allow the pair of businesses to live on to the next generation. Alas fate finally drew a sombre card, and months later Ardent's father died to circumstances uncertain to the coroner. As the only successor to the family business, Ardent became the CEO of the Ardent&Bernard company alongside Elisa. While the two were still inexperienced youths, they were able to keep the business on track with great effort.
Economic downfalls, loss in profits, lawsuits and protesting workers...
Things only began to look up three years later, where it appeared that Elisa Ardent was pregnant. With a possible successor secured, the two pressed on to save the company. They did whatever they could, mustering support and bringing the business back to strength with unbeaten determination.
Then it happened.
One bitter November night, returning from a meeting hand-in-hand, the young couple were confronted by a group of armed men. Ardent tried as he might to keep his wife safe, yet was quickly overwhelmed by the brutish gang. It was unknown what could've fueled them, but out of bitter rage they stripped him down in the snow and made him watch as his eight month pregnant wife was violated and beaten. Only the lord himself could know what they had in store, yet salvation came in the form of a large, blue-haired berserker of a man. With bare fists alone he subdued the human filth that had assaulted the couple, forcing them to retreat en masse with broken arms and legs alike. With Elisa unconscious and himself incapacitated, Carlyle begged for the man to take her to the closest hospital immediately, insisting that he could handle his own wounds.
Yet he simply sneered.
The sight of the two in such weak and pathetic circumstances sickened him to no end, and ensuring that Carlyle's eyes were fixed upon him he drew a dagger and murdered Elisa without hesitation. Her lover didn't say a word, his eyes wide in terror as the light of his love finally faded away with the punctuation of a gentle exhalation of breath. Perhaps the lack of reaction displeased the brute, for after the longest of moments he plunged the ornate and bloodied blade straight into the widow's chest and left him to bleed out into the snow-white sleet.
He was supposed to die.
Yet moments after blackness seized his vision he suddenly found himself within a spotless clinic, to his sides nurses and officers dressed in the ceremonial garments of the NOL. One of them - a Major - explained his predicament. They had found him and treated him, yet by their estimate he was surely to die. Something had happened to him in his death throes, and it had left him in a state of non-being: he was dead, yet for some reason beyond known medical science he was alive.
Yet why would someone like him be granted a second chance? He had nothing to live for - His wife was gone, his unborn child was gone, and his business was gone.
But then the Major gave him an offer.
A man with nothing to lose and nothing to live for could have his uses in war. The officer offered him training, supplies, and medical assistance to discover the circumstances of his strange undead state. With no need to rest, or eat, or even sleep, Carlyle Ardent would become a Sentinel of the night who would survey the realm, eradicate evil and keep order for the public. He would protect the innocent, and he would save no mercy for the guilty. In his hunt for retribution directed towards the man who ruined his life, he would reshape the bitter land of Kagutsuchi into the glorious image the NOL had promised him as a child - whether they wanted it, or not.
He would plunge that dagger drawn dryly from his chest straight into the beast's blackened heart, and watch him bleed and howl.
And then? Then he would let himself die.
There was no turning back.

RP samples:
"I shall make the perfect world." Ardent said quietly, a soft and gentle voice backed by a hostile gravel. His talons fiddled with the slight chain of his family pendant, slowly descending to the source of what will he had left. With the crack of stiff-white knuckles, he clutched onto the ruined ornate memento. “... I will not live in it."

"You value peace.” Ardent declared, gazing deeply into the man's eyes. After an awkward silence of thought, he lowered his weapon and backed away from the potential brawl. “I shall not fight.”

"Sometimes, I can remember... Her eyes, her smile." Ardent clutched onto his bow, the folds of his mantle motionless in thought. He tilted his head, his expression maintaining its forsaken and bleak blankness; his fingers trembling, feeling for something that just wasn't there. "... Sometimes."

I feel no reason to approve of this character, because - to me - he has absolutely no point being there and feels a bunch out of place.
I've tried a non-truly undead character and even that was implausible, if only partly so.
This, and the fact that his murderer "might be Azrael" (given the history, there's no EFFing way that it's him) gives me a huge pause, as well as his French-Belgian family in Kagutsuchi while Kagutsuchi obviously is Japan. Also, how would he instantly be standing among the highest-rankers despite being almost a nobody upon revival?
Also, a RP sample is not just one sentence, saying you provided 5 RP samples with just that would be overblowing, and writing one or two sentences per RP sample makes me just say it's one RP sample, one that makes little sense at that.

So for me, it'll be "no, thank you, try again" if you further these theories.

You know, i see no big problems with him. He works on the chatbox, and you`ve had enough time to work out the kinks, so, why not.

Apps 1

Diss 0

Monomolecular chainsaw Seele Schneider aside, I'd like to see what more you can tell me over those curved projectiles of the bow? Does it impale when launched into the enemy? Stab? Burn right through them as it is made out of energy? What are the limits to it? As it is shot out of formed energy, it does not necessarily submit itself to your usual law of damages. Since I envision it being launched in vast quantities, as you put it, enough to actually perhaps blot out the entire area with sheer missile spam. More details are nice, as the Devil is in the details. The willed out bow firing out huge quantity of arrows with no draw backs and vague description doesn't help. MORE I'd say, more details.

As for Relius and Azrael, did you gain permission to use those characters to be involved in your plot particularly? Well, not Azrael as much as Relius that concerns me, as there is a need to cement user agreement of respective RPers, as well as involvement of the Major, Tsubaki, though as Tsubaki herself is absent often enough, that bit can slide so long as you can secure Nu's permission in that regard.

Woah, must admit it caught me off guard seeing this email in my inbox! Thank you very much for spending the time to review my character! :P

Guess you could say the bow is pretty similar to the type of thing you'd see in Bleach, although the speed really just comes from the fact that he literally forms arrows by dragging his arm back (He doesn't have to fumble with a quiver or anything. If you've heard of Bionicle, they used to have figures with these weird bows where you'd pull back a stretchy arrow and it'd sling out without a drawstring. It's kind of like that). The projectiles themselves are made of a raw energy, and they remain so long as he wills them - in other words, once he's out of combat the arrows'll sizzle away. Beyond that, they're pretty much normal beyond the whole bending thing- it's kind of like a weird lock-on. If you've ever seen the film Wanted, it's a bit like that (They're not heat-seeking missiles or anything, but they can be manipulated somewhat. Ardent is an apathetic dementia suffering undead, and he doesn't quite understand how to control his abilities to the fullest xD)

As for characters he's involved with, the only real important one would be Azrael since I planned Ardent up to be a polar opposite to him (Long ranged fighter, lanky, pale, widowed father, fights for law VS Melee fighter, muscly, tanned, loner, fights for glory). This was before there were any Azrael RPers on the site, and it was the same with Tsubaki and Relius. I pretty much only RP on the chatbox, so it's not too big of an issue. (The relation to Tsubaki and Relius is pretty minor. Just a way to flesh out that he's a known and somewhat infamous member of the NOL rather than a random member that nobody's heard of :P)

Probably not enough information, but I'll gladly go into more detail if you want. Thank you for your time again :)

As the Germans say, Jawohl.

I never watched Bionicle, so forgive me as I have no idea about its example over what it is. Still, I myself am apprehensive from actually pushing forward for the idea for arrow volley a lá Persian style in Thermopylae, as far as my understanding goes, can change mid-flight in direction, especially over how much spam can be poured out in output. Though at the very least with an actual prompt needed by the formality of pulling back your arm for your bow, that's fine. I just need to know about the amount of arrows you can pour out. Is it a wall? A spray akin to a wide-spread like a shotgun birdshot? Things like that.

Since you should consider the idea that shooting a large volume of arrows if from a distance or even up close, which can change directions through "curving mid-path" can be OP'd if anything, I'll be accepting if singular arrows can be curved instead.

Good news for you though, canon character association is approved by Nu, so on that front, you're good.

Guten tag~
It's within reason, he doesn't fire ten-bazillion arrows at once or anything: He fires singular arrows at a time that can be curved to an extent (E.g: If there was an obstacle like a pillar or person in front of his shot, he could steer an arrow around. If there was, say, a wall around two metres or more in width he wouldn't be able to). I'd say he's not quite Legolas, but getting there! xD

Devil is in the details. Put those details into your bow and I'll swing around another look. And hokey dokey, if bigger volleys, more inaccurate as you put it, right?

Pretty much! He's more about precision than quantity :P

That being done with, as I now like the changes, mind editing your sheet to reflect new additional details?

Drat, Firefox crashed mid-way through my first edit and deleted all of my updated info ._.
Re-did it, should contain the new information now :)

Supposedly with the information written down through our dialogue anyways, MY WILL IS SATISFIED.

You have been approved, undead corpulent cadaver. Sail forth in your happy pace.

APPROVAL: 02

DISAPPROVAL: 00