Schakal, The doll who wanted to be human

Name: Schakal (german word for jackal)
Gender: Female

Age: 122 years
Race: Artificial human

Appearance:
Her facial trademark are her steelcold blue eyes and her combat scar over the right eye. Schakal has shoulder long blond hair, smooth white skin and a very scary grin on her red lips. Her canine teeth a longer than normally by humans, making even a gentle smile grim and terrifying, possible the reason for Schakal's name.

Clothing of choice:
Schakal wears a long red leather coat with a hood, under which she hides her young face. To protect her body she wears a darkgray kevlar jacket and a black jumpsuit. Her legs are protected by heavy combat boots, which are shoed with metall, and kneepads. Her hands are engulfed in sturdy and rusty comat gloves. Further she wears a black outworn scarf around her neck, which Schakal is very fond of. Pulled over mouth and nose, the scarf bare his white teeth, similar to a wolf's set of fangs. Her old regiment combat emblem, a roaring wolf, is visible on her right shoulder. Shrouded and covered in her military past, Schakal clothing is with purpose, warning foes and encouraging friends to stay on her good side, whatever side that may be.

Loyalty: Only loyal to herself, but greatly cares for the outcasts, the weak and the helpless.

Occupation: Former 1st lieutenant, special tactics and hunting squad, wanted terrorist

Personality: Schakal was once a proud example of a soldier, before the war broke her soul and spirit. She started to ask questions, questioned her own existence and meaning of war. Her superiors feared, she might find answers and gave her a final order. Unknowing of the uppers betrayel, she gave the command, resulting in the deaths of her subordinates. Covered in mud and blood, Schakal realized for the first time, that she wasn't human, an artifical shell based on lies, created for war, with other words a ugly beast! Since that day Schakal is like a soulless doll, a being not capable of human emotions. Schakal only feels despair, terror, rage and sadness. She swore to take everything from her creators, like they tool everything from her. Schakal hopes to find one day salvation and a way to be human again, the doll who wanted to be human.

Weaponry:

Schakal curses weapons, if she has to fight, she uses her own hands. To stand a fighting chance against magical weapons, Schakal uses a dirty tactic, where she overloads objects with her own magical energy, resulting in a magic explosion. She might not harm the magical weapon, but her bearer is not fire proof, at least Schakal has to meet one, who is. She can overload her own body with the magical energy to boost her combat potential and strength, despite resulting in damaging her own body. Boobytrapping the environment with her magic is more her style, even a harmless rock can be granade in her hand.

Abilities:

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil:
Schakal can cloak her existance and emotions, making it impossible to trace her with abilities. Similar to a ghost she can sneak up behind people or follow them, without risking to get discovered.

Fading:
Maybe its due her training as a soldier, being an artifical being or caused by her lack of emotiones, Schakal can fade away like a shadow. It could be described by outstanders as a kind of teleporting, but for Schakal it's more like cease to exist and reappearing on a different location. Schakal isn't fully aware of this ability nor can she controll it. Sometimes she fades without her will or stucks in a from, where only her grin and eyes are visible, while her body is gone, literally unable to do shit.

Survivor:
While Schakal does not posess the amazing regeneration abilities of her sisters, she can take a lot of punishment, before being knocked out.

History:

Schakal is one of the first secret artifical human prototyps made, therefore lacks abilities and powers other Murakumo units posess, making her inferior to them. Despite being not more than a prealpha model, Schakal was a very effective soldier, before Schakal questioned her own existence and started to think, endangering the project and making her a ticking bomb. Her superiors decided to get rid of Schakal and everyone, who might suspect Schakal not being a human. Schakal and her squad were send on a sucide mission, where everyone under the command of Schakal died. Schakal, apparently deadly wounded, embittered accepted the fact, that she was betrayed and has killed her friends and comrades. The only thing left for her was embracing death. Hours of waiting left room to think and Schakal used the time well. Covered in mud and blood, Schakal realized for the first time, that she wasn't human, an artifical shell based on lies, created for war, with other words a ugly beast! Schakal wanted to cry, but there was no emotion to feed her sorrow, only the void of rage. Unable to die Schakal returned from the battlefield.

At home she was arrest for treason and locked away like a common criminal. Schakal waited eighty years, surviving those, who locked her away in this dark cell. A lot of time to think. She was locked up so long, even the guards forgot to have a prisoner in that cell. Well, they didn't have the time to tell the tale. As soon as the door was opened Schakal jumped out of her prision and attacked the guards. One after another she hunted them systematically down. Disturbing laugher was to hear that day!

Nowadays Schakal is a known terrorist, who blows up military structurs and facilities, causing huge damage, but sparing lives. Since that fateful day Schakal repudiates from deadly force, despite she really likes beating the shit out of law enforcer and military personal. Once a weapon of war, Schakal swore to protect the weak and outcasts, even if she have to offer her body and life to fulfill her task.

I`m not sure why no one votes on this. Probably because the RP sample is missing and the character is a bit dodgy. It flies for me, since we need some villians for our NOL people, but normally i would be a bit more harsh about a lot of things... such as there being no special tactics and hunting squad in the NOL- we`ve got a fairly good idea of what their structure is, and that organization doesn`t exist.
Another is that someone this big of a deal, criminal wise, would have gotten far more attention, possibly as much as Ragna over the years. And even Ragna`s backstory is full of plotholes- the Novus Orbis Librarium can´t take down a guy with a sword? They`ve got jet fighters, bombers, heavy infantry, ars magus snipers, weapons of mass destruction...! They can`t take this one guy?!

Anyway- to make a long rant short, i advise you to overthink the concept but if you add an RP sample or give me a hint as to who you are on the forum, i`ll approve.

I'm not sure on how to vote since the character doesn't seem exactly in her place here.
Aside from the fact that "artificial human" is becoming way too common a basis for OCs, the fact that this one is supposed to be older than the Dark War makes her somewhat redundant especially with Es now being in the picture.
Her wielding of "pure magic" and the description of her abilities give me even more pause as causing explosions almost out of nowhere isn't something that even Ragna can do. That and even with the best effort, phasing out of existence isn't really reversible here. Also, everybody will still notice people going behind them, especially those who won't take care to look up here. Obviously this is just an example of a lack of fair-play from everyone, but the explanation for that "sneakup" power (masking your existence) isn't one I'll take.
Talking about backstory now... We know that the predecessors of the Murakumos are the Es-N units, suppressing all kinds of need for such a character. Besides, her starting to think and all makes me think you want to imply the possibility of your character being the actual Prime Field Unit #1, which we know is kind of a sealed goddess. I disapprove. Besides, I'm not sure the guys would try an Uriah gambit on something like that knowing she had high survival capabilities. And knowing they had access to the Boundary 150 years ago (like, X-Blaze takes place around 150 years before BlazBlue), they'd have thrown her down there.

Due to the character redundancy and being put off by some abilities (though some could be reused on another character), my vote will be a disapproval. It's a shame because I really like the personality...

APPROVALS : 00
DISAPPROVALS: 01

Mai Natsume wrote:

Another [problem] is that someone this big of a deal, criminal wise, would have gotten far more attention, possibly as much as Ragna over the years. And even Ragna`s backstory is full of plotholes- the Novus Orbis Librarium can´t take down a guy with a sword? They`ve got jet fighters, bombers, heavy infantry, ars magus snipers, weapons of mass destruction...! They can`t take this one guy?!

Taking out Ragna like that doesn't work since the Azure can help him resist all of that. Yes, ALL OF THAT. They even have anti-Ars fields, and the Azure breaks them like glass. This fills Ragna's plotholes, but surely such a character would've been taken down by that.

Off topic, but still- They`ve got long range ars magus fighters, also known as snipers. Ragna would never see them coming. They just don`t use them, for whatever reason. .___.

Ok, I will build a new charakter :)
Well it was my first try

I take that as you don`t want to apply as this character anymore then?

Moving it to disapproved in that case. You can copy and paste if you want to apply again.